


You Can't Have Me Without My Children

by Rosalynd



Series: Single Dad Logan Sanders [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: A little bit of angst, Crying, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional, Fluff, Gen, Hospitals, Hugs, I Love You, Kid Virgil, Logan Single Dad AU, Logan being such a dad, Logan is a soft dad, Logan is emotional, Logan loves his children so much, Love, One Big Happy Family, Other, Singing, Single Dad AU, Tickling, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unconditional Love, adoption au, domestic life of Logan and his three kids, kid patton, kid roman, mosty fluff, they call him daddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 14:25:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19014724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalynd/pseuds/Rosalynd
Summary: Logan was trying to make his way as a professional singer despite being the father of three kids. But even in dream chasing, his children came first and foremost.





	You Can't Have Me Without My Children

Logan was trying to make his way as a professional singer despite being the father of three kids. He loved his children so dearly. He wouldn’t trade them for the world. Even in dream chasing, his children came first and foremost. But he still wanted to try.

He recently had been offered an amazing gig on the largest stage he had performed on so far in his career. 10,000 people would be there in the audience. Granted, all of them would most likely be there for the leading act that was performing that night, but it was still an incredible opportunity. He could turn some heads and maybe even get himself some more gigs. He was extremely nervous, but equally as excited. 

His children, Patton, Roman and Virgil, had all heard him sing constantly in the lead up to the big night. While he was making their breakfast, while he was giving them baths, even while he was cooking dinner.

The dress code for his performance was glamorous and professional. He had a costume to wear on the night that was gifted to him by his agent. It was a normal tux, but the lapels were dark blue and the jacket was a tailcoat. He even had to wear white leather gloves. It was luxurious.

It was going to be a magnificent night. However, there was one problem. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get a babysitter for the night. This meant he would have to bring his children with him and trust that they would behave themselves backstage.

 

“Roman, Patton, Virgil, get your shoes on.” He said as he came downstairs. He had dressed them all to look a little smart for the night since they were going to a large theater.

“Daddy! I can’t tie my laces!” Virgil called out, sitting on the floor, his legs straightened out in front of him. Logan suppressed a sigh and knelt down in front of him. 

Virgil was six years old. He was quite small for his age due to the fact that he was a premature baby. Logan adopted him when he was only a few weeks old. He cried so often in the night, and continued to do it well after babies were supposed to stop doing it. He had many sleepless nights, but it was all worth it seeing the boy in front of him now. Logan had had a few scares with sudden illnesses with Virgil because his immune system was rather weak, but he had pulled through them all. He truly was a miracle baby.

 

When he was 12 months old, he became very ill. He brought him to hospital where he discovered, by the look on the doctors' faces, Virgil was in danger. Logan sat in the waiting room crying his eyes out. He didn’t want to lose him, not his little baby boy.

After a couple of hours, a doctor approached him. He stood up immediately.

“Is my son okay?” He asked.

“He is going to be okay, Mr Sanders. We will just need to keep him here for a few nights in order to monitor him and make sure he gets better. Logan burst into tears again and grasped the doctor’s hand with both of his.

“Thank you! Thank you so much…!” The doctor placed his other hand on his.

“Let me take you to see him.” He said.

He was lead into a rather large room that had several nurses in tending to several other ill babies. The doctor took him over to Virgil.

“Here he is.” 

Logan slapped his hand to his mouth as he sobbed more upon seeing his son smiling up at him again. He wasn't screaming that awful, painful scream anymore. He held out his hand to him and he grasped it with his two little hands.

“Oh Virgil...I love you so much…!” He sobbed. “You’re going to grow up to be an amazing little boy, I just know you will...you are so strong…”

He hid his face with his free hand as he continued to sob.

 

“Da....Da...ddy…”

 

Logan gasped and took his hand from his face and stared down at his son. Was he hearing things?

“Da...ddy!” He babbled out. Logan couldn't believe it.

“Yes! I’m your Daddy, Virgil!” Logan sobbed happily.

“Daddy!” Virgil said with more confidence.

“It’s Daddy! I’m your Daddy!” He caressed his little face with his large hand. “I’m your Daddy…”

 

Virgil’s black trainers were the smartest shoes he had. He was wearing a black shirt and collar and his purple hoodie with black jeans. Although hoodies weren’t strictly appropriate attire, it was cold outside. His favourite colour was purple, and black seemed to go well with purple.

“Virgil, I have shown you many times how to tie your laces. Watch my hands.” He said, taking his black laces in his hands. “You make two loops with each lace and you hold one in each hand. Then you tie them together like this.” He pulled his laces into a neat bow. “Can you try and lace the other one by yourself, sweetheart?” Virgil pouted as he brought his other foot close to him. He took the laces in his hands and started to make loops with each.

“Yes, like two bunny ears. Cross them over...then loop that one down there...yes, now pull!” Virgil pulled his laces into a bow. It was slightly bigger than Logan’s, but Logan was proud nonetheless. “Well done, Virgil!” Virgil smiled wide up at him, flashing when he lost a tooth a week ago, giggling. Logan kissed his forehead.

"Daddy! Where's my coat?" Roman whined.

Roman was eight years old. He was the oldest out of the three brothers. Logan adopted him when he was three. What a happy, adorable child. His laughter could melt hearts. Logan could see that he was a child full of wonder and excitement for the world around him. Everyday was a new adventure with him. He was very creative, however his self expression lead to many hours of scrubbing crayon off the walls. He had also been the victim of many a sword fight where he would be stabbed and have to pretend to die a painful death. He taught Logan to be less uptight and to just enjoy moments sometimes. That was a lesson Logan desperately needed.

"Oh...it's upstairs, darling. Your red one?"

"Yeah!"

"Yes, it's upstairs. Can you get it? It is in your wardrobe."

"Okay!" With that he scurried upstairs.

Logan looked down and saw that Patton was struggling with the buttons on his blue coat.

"Do you need a hand there, Patton?" He asked.

"...I can't do it. " He mumbled after a few moments.

"That's alright, darling. Big buttons are quite hard to fasten." He said, kneeling down and beginning to help him with the buttons.

Patton was seven years old. Logan had adopted him when he was two years old. What a happy baby he was. He was very sensitive, however. Logan tripped over a toy train on the floor one day and he fell and hurt his knee and Patton started to cry. Logan thought it was so sweet that he was so worried about his daddy. He was very sensitive to emotions too. One night, Logan had gotten dumped by his ex-boyfriend because he couldn't deal with his children, and he came home upset, but he tried not to cry because he didn't want to show his children weakness. His friend Emile was babysitting for him at the time. He was playing with Patton, and as soon as Logan got close to him, he burst into tears. This made Logan finally cry and he held Patton while he cried and gushed to Emile about his breakup. However, when Logan was happy, so was Patton. He laughed a laugh that was like if sunshine had a sound. It would instantly lift up Logan if he even had any slight feelings of sadness or anxiety.

Patton was wearing a white collar shirt and a small bow tie - he insisted on wearing one because his daddy was - and navy blue jeans. Patton’s favourite colour was blue.

"There you go!" Logan announced after he fastened the last button. He smiled up at Patton, who smiled at him back. He kissed him on his little nose.

He heard Roman bound down the stairs as he stood back up. He looked over and saw his eldest son smiling wide at him. 

Roman was wearing a pink shirt with black jeans and his red coat. His favourite colour was red.

“You look so smart, daddy!” Roman cried as Logan approached him. He ruffled his hair. 

"Thank you, Roman." He said. He then knelt down beside him. "Virgil, Patton, come over here." They both scurried over. "Tonight is very important to me, okay? So can you make daddy proud and behave yourselves while he’s is performing on stage? Be quiet and don't run around, do you understand?"

"Yes, daddy." They all said.

"Okay. Let's go." He then got up and kissed them all on their heads. He grabbed his handbag on the way to the door.

He had three booster seats in the back of his car. They were all plain black colour. He lifted Roman into the car first who sat in the middle. He leaned over and fastened his seat belt. He then lifted Virgil into the seat next to him and fastened his seat belt.

"Are you scared, daddy?" Virgil asked.

"Yes, I'm a little scared. But I'm mostly excited." He said to his youngest son. When he had secured his seat belt, he stood up, closed the door, took Patton's hand and lead him around to the other side of the car. He opened the door and lifted Patton into his seat. Patton loved to be held by his daddy, just like Virgil did, so he kept his arms up grabbing Logan's arms.

"Put your arms down, sweetheart so I can fasten your seat belt. That's it, thank you." He clicked his seat belt in place. He then leaned over him and double-checked Roman's was fastened. He then went around to the other side again and checked Virgil's. When he was confident his children were secure, he got into the driver's seat.

Roman was the most talkative out of the three so on the way there his voice was the one you could hear most. He happily talked to his brothers about Disney related things. He was rather obsessed with Disney. The wondrous lands fed his need for adventure.

He was glad that his sons got along well and didn't beat each other up like he had seen other people's kids do. Roman did tease Virgil a little bit sometimes, but he would never get violent with him. Logan had explained to Roman that Virgil was a little weaker than other kids, so he would have to look after him like a big brother should. When they got along, it was very sweet to watch. 

One time Logan came downstairs to start making lunch for his children, but stopped in his tracks when he saw Virgil and Roman. They were four and six at the time. He hid behind the door and watched them. At the time, he was worried is sons weren't getting along, so when he saw them together, he almost cried. Roman was sitting on the floor and Virgil was lying on his stomach next to him. Virgil was drawing on a piece of paper with a purple crayon. Roman was watching Virgil as he drew himself and giving him encouragement. His encouraging words made Virgil smile.

"That looks just like you, Virgil!" Roman said. "What's that?" He pointed a small finger to his drawing.

"...my crown. I wanna be a Prince like you." Logan saw that he had drawn a little golden crown on his character. Roman almost always drew a crown on his head whenever he drew himself. Logan guessed that Virgil really looked up to his older brother.

"We can be Princes together! " Roman then began drawing himself next to Virgil's drawing.

After they had finished their drawings, Logan approached them.

"What are you two doing?" Logan asked with a smile.

"We’re drawing ourselves as Princes! Look!" Roman pointed at their drawing and Logan walked behind them. "Me and Virgil are defending out kingdom together! " Virgil sat up.

Logan smiled. It was such a sweet drawing. He felt a swell of love for his two sons. 

"That's amazing! I'm so proud of you both." He kissed both of them on their temple. He gave them both ice cream after lunch that day and the drawing went on the cork board that Logan had hung in the living room when his children began drawing more and more. It was covered in amazing drawings that they all had done over the years. Well, they were amazing in Logan’s eyes.

He had also told Patton to take care of Virgil. Logan could see that Virgil could be susceptible to bullying because of his small size and meek attitude, so he wanted to make sure his brothers had his back.

When they arrived at the stadium, it has started to rain. Logan put on his waterproof rain coat that he brought with him in case that it did rain so he wouldn't get his tuxedo wet. He went around to Patton's side, clicked off his seat belt and set him down on the ground beside him. He then leaned over and clicked off Roman's seat belt and stepped out of the car by himself. He then went around to the other side and clicked off Virgil's seat belt.

Virgil had a fear of rain. Logan thought it must be slight trauma from when he slipped and scraped his knee once when they were walking in the rain when he was only four.

Virgil whimpered and held out his arms towards his father.

"Shh, it's alright, Virgil, daddy's got you." Logan said softly as he lifted him into his arms. Normally he would encourage Virgil to try and step out on his own to try and face his fear, but they didn't have time today. Virgil gripped his shirt tightly and buried his head in his neck.

"Come on!" He grabbed Patton's hand and they all ran towards the entrance of the building to get out of the rain as quickly as possible.

When he got inside, he was guided backstage by a woman who looked to be one of the people who worked backstage to make sure the show ran smoothly.

"I'm sorry, I could not get a babysitter. My children are very well behaved, could someone just keep an eye on them when I go on stage?" He asked the woman who lead him backstage.

"Of course. I completely understand." she said. Logan breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t a problem.

He had half an hour before he was due to go on stage. He sat his children on three chairs. He reached into his bag and produced a colouring book for Roman, a book for Patton and another book for Virgil with slightly simpler language since he was younger. Logan read it with him.

Five minutes before he was due on stage, he crouched in front of them all. "I'm about to go on stage. Be good boys and be quiet and sit still, okay?"

They all nodded. He introduced them to the nice lady who lead him backstage as she offered to keep an eye on his children for him. She was called Valerie.

"Wish me luck." He said, standing up. He kissed Virgil’s forehead.

"Good luck, daddy! " Virgil cried.

He then kissed Romans forehead. “Good luck!” 

He finally kissed Patton’s forehead. "Good luck!" 

Logan then turned around and took a deep breath.

This was it.

He walked over and stood near the opening to the stage. His heart jumped when his eyes comprehended how many people was 10,000 people. It didn’t seem real until that moment.

The announcer called out his name and the crowd cheered and clapped. He took a deep breath, then strutted out on stage. He turned his head to the crowd and smiled and waved. He stopped in front of the microphone and waited for the crowd’s clapping and cheering to die down. He nodded to the side to signal that he was ready for the music to start.

Soft piano began to play. After about ten seconds, Logan began to sing. His voice was soft and smooth to start. 

The lyrics of the song he was singing resonated with him deeply. They reminded him of his children and how he would do anything for them, and how he hoped they would look up to him and continue to love him even when they got to be as old as him one day. The fact the song resonated with him in this way made him put even more emotion and passion behind every word he sung.

"Would you like to see your dad on stage?" Valerie asked Roman, Virgil and Patton. They all smiled and excitedly nodded their heads. "Okay, just stay by me, okay? Follow me."

She took them to one of the entrances to the stage. Their eyes widened in wonder when they saw their father on the large stage, singing with more passion than he ever had done in his life.

The key suddenly changed in the song and Logan's voice became louder and stronger. He held a note for several seconds, making the crowd cheer and his children gasp.

They had never seen him sing like this before. It was like he had turned into someone completely different. They all simultaneously thought that their dad was amazing.

Virgil and Patton clung onto either side of Roman as they were all mesmerized by their father's singing. This was a different side of him that they had never seen before.

The song ended with a strong note and a loud orchestral burst. He held out his arms and smiled up at the stands as he finished and the crowd cheered loudly.

Suddenly, all three of his children tore away from Valerie and began to run towards their father. They were too fast for her to be able catch them before they made their way onto the stage.

Logan almost lost his footing when he felt something slam into his legs. Several people in the audience gasped as Logan looked down and saw his three children hugging his legs and smiling up at him. Panic flooded through him.

"Daddy! Daddy! That was amazing, Daddy!" Roman cried.

"Your voice is incredible, daddy!" Patton cried.

"You're the best singer in the world, Daddy!!" Virgil cried.

Logan was looking at them in wild panic as the audience’s reaction rung in his ears, but then he saw the absolute wonder and amazement in their eyes. It was like stars had gotten lost in the night sky and found their way into their eyes. They admired him. 

His heart melted. He gave himself away to a smile and he laughed. 

"Sorry, they're my children. They are very excited to see their dad sing." He said into the microphone with a slight laugh. There was a resounding "Aw!" from the audience. 

He then lifted up Virgil into his arms who giggled happily at him and hugged him tightly around his neck, which caused the audience's hearts to melt even more. Logan gave him a small squeeze and a kiss. He took Patton's hand.

"Come on! We have to get off the stage now." He said in a light tone as he began to walk off. Roman followed them.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have let them stand here and watch you!" Valerie cried as he walked backstage. Logan couldn't wipe the grin from his face.

"It is alright. My children are an essential part of my life. It made sense that they joined me on stage.” He said cheerfully. He walked passed her.

"Daddy! Your voice was so loud!!! It's never sounded like that ever! " Roman cried as Logan put Virgil down and knelt in front of all of them.

Logan smiled at all of their excited faces. He couldn't keep the tears in. 

"Come here. All of you!" He cried as he burst into happy tears and flung his arms around all three of them. He squeezed them so very tightly as he sobbed. "I love all of you so much!"

In that moment, Logan knew that he truly couldn't live without his children. His children were what gave him the drive to continue with his career in the first place. They saw him as better than he was, which gave him the confidence to get back on the stage and sing again. Maybe he was better than what he thought he was. Everyday he looked forward to seeing his children when he got off work. They gave his life meaning.

"Love you too, Daddy!" They all took turns saying. He squeezed them tighter and his smile became a little bigger.

"Mr Sanders?" He heard a voice call from behind him. He slowly released his hold on his children, sniffed and wiped his eyes as he stood up. He saw a slightly older gentleman before him. It was the lead singer for the night.

"Good evening, sir! I'm sorry for my state." He apologised for his tears as he continued to wipe his eyes. Behind him, Patton had started to cry because his dad was, but his tears were being dried by his big brother Roman. 

"You were amazing out there! You've got such a powerful voice on you. I feel like the crowd cheered louder for you!" He laughed.

"Oh no, sir, I don't think that's true, but thank you.”

"Your children are adorable. You've shown the people that you’re a kind and gentle person, and I think they've fallen for you. Give me your number, I'm going to try and get you more work. You deserve it. Being a single dad isn't easy, especially to three children."

"Oh, my goodness...Thank you, sir! That is very kind of you! I can’t thank you enough!" He gasped out as he took his phone out.

They exchanged phone numbers and the singer left with a smile. Logan was left dumbfounded and starstruck. 

He looked back down at his children and his mouth spread into a wide smile.

Maybe he did have a shot in this industry after all.

He then swooped up Roman and spun him around, making him giggle and smile. He kissed his cheek then set him back down.

"Come on! Let's go home!" He picked up Virgil with one arm and held Patton's hand with his other. "Roman, could you hold Patton's hand?" Roman gladly did so. Then they headed back outside and into the car.

On the way home, Logan sang some songs that his children had heard him sing many times, which encouraged them all to join in. They all enthusiastically sang even though they were off-key. It made Logan's heart soar.

When they got home, they all took their coats and shoes off. Logan helped Virgil out of his trainers when he saw him fumble with the laces. After he popped off his second trainer, he got an idea which made a smile spread across his face.

"Oh no...Virgil! You better watch out! The tickle monster is gonna get you!" He then began tickling him under his arms which made him start to squirm around and giggle. His giggle soon turned into happy screams and he fell backwards onto the floor. Logan leaned over him.

"Daddy's got ya!" He cried as Virgil kicked his legs up at him and thrashed his arms around. He suddenly stopped, placing his hands on the floor on either side of Virgil, towering over him. Virgil panted, a large smile still plastered on his face.

"Is he gone? Is he gone?" Logan gasped playfully. "No he's not!" He began tickling him ferociously again, making Virgil erupt with more loud giggles.

"I'll save you from the monster, Virgil!" Roman cried, jumping into the scene with his plastic sword. Logan gasped.

"Oh no!" Roman then started to stab him gently in the shoulder. "Oh no! Brave knight! You have foiled my plans!" He then placed the back of his hand to his forehead and dramatically fell to the ground. 

"Patton! Quickly! Save our brother!" Roman commanded. 

"Yes sir!" Patton then swooped in and tackled Virgil into a hug. They both giggled. Roman walked over and stood triumphantly next to his father. Logan peaked an eye open. He smiled.

"I'm gonna get you next, Roman!" He cried, then jumping up and tickling Roman, making him fall back in fits of giggles and drop his sword. After a few seconds, Logan stopped, then kissed Roman on the cheek. He sat up and laughed.

"Who wants to watch a movie?" He asked them excitedly. He thought they deserves a little treat for being so amazing.

"Me!!!" They all cried.

"Okay, while Daddy gets changed out of his suit, can you all decide on a movie together?"

"Yeah!" They all stood up and ran to their little shelf of DVDs next to the TV in the living room. Logan stood up and smiled after them. He then proceeded to go upstairs and get changed into his pajamas.

When he came downstairs, they had all decided on a movie.

“Let's get you all in your pajamas!" He said, leading them upstairs.

Logan had bought them all onesies in their favourite colours. Logan always thought they looked so sweet and precious in them.

Logan sat in the middle of the sofa, Virgil sat on his lap, Roman sat on his right side and Patton sat on his left. They all huddled together as a big happy family and enjoyed the movie.

After the movie, it was time for bed. Logan stayed with them while they brushed their teeth because Virgil hadn’t really gotten the hang of it yet, so he stayed to make sure he brushed properly.

Their bedroom was quite big and it had all three of their beds in it. Virgil’s was at the far end of the room, then Roman’s was in the middle, and Patton’s was near the door. When they got older, Logan planned on letting them have their own room and own space, but that was for another day.

Every night without fail, Logan sang them to sleep. He had come up with his own lullaby that he sang in his soft, low voice. When Virgil was a baby and would cry in the night, what would finally soothe him to sleep would be his lullaby, so he kept singing it even when he adopted Roman and Patton and it just became part of the bedtime routine. 

There was one time where he had to stay late at work and Emile was babysitting. Emile asked Logan before he left that day, “How do you settle them down for bed?”

Logan flushed a little at the question. “I...I sing them a lullaby. I have recorded myself singing it so that you can play it for them when they are lying in bed. I have sent it to you.”

“That’s it?”

“Sometimes I also read to them for approximately ten minutes, but it is the lullaby that relaxes them the most.”

That night, Emile played it for them and set the phone down on the small set of drawers beside Roman’s bed and stood near the door. He was amazed by how relaxed the children became when they heard their father’s singing voice. Emile had looked after many children in his time, and most of them were a nightmare to settle down. He had never come across children that were so calm before.

 

When they all were snuggled under the covers and the lights were dimmed, Logan gently sat on the edge of Virgil’s bed. Virgil was looking up at him, anticipating the lullaby.

He took a deep breath, then began to sing.

 

_ Sleep now, my darlings, _

_ The moon shines so bright, _

_ Dream oh-so-many dreams _

_ While you’re tucked up so tight. _

 

As he sang he softly caressed Virgil’s face. He then leaned down and softly kissed his forehead.

He then gently stood up and moved over to Roman’s bed and perched on the edge of it.

 

_ Sleep well, my darlings, _

_ I’ll say goodnight to you too, _

_ Now go to sleep and remember _

_ That daddy loves you. _

 

As he sang, Roman’s eyes closed and he softly stroked his soft brown hair. He leaned down and kissed his forehead softly, then gently stood up and sat on the edge of Patton’s bed. Patton’s eyes were already closed.

 

_ And in the morning, you can tell me _

_ That you love me too. _

 

He leaned down and kissed Patton’s forehead.

He stood up and walked out, looking upon his children with a smile as he gently closed the door. He was exhausted, so he went to bed as well.

 

Logan didn’t really believe in luck, but he couldn’t help but think as he drifted off to sleep how lucky he was to have been given such amazing, adorable children. When he decided that he wanted to adopt all those years ago, he knew he wanted to do it even if he didn’t have a significant other. He was aware that there were many children in need of loving homes and not enough people were providing them with one, so Logan knew he wanted to adopt two or three children. He wanted to give some children a new life.

Virgil was so sick and small. He hadn’t been given any love. Logan wanted to be the person to give it to him.

Patton had been given up for adoption when he was only a few weeks old. He had never really experienced the love of a parental figure. Maybe that was why he became so attached to Logan very quickly.

Roman needed someone to nurture his ambitious desire for adventure. Logan’s life became so much more interesting when Roman was involved in it. Roman made everything an adventure, and Logan wanted nothing more to keep that fiery passion alive within him.

 

With his children, tomorrow was another exciting day.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The original idea for this story was "Logan is singing on stage, it’s really professional, his big break. He has to bring his kids to the show because he can't get a babysitter. They are kept backstage. They watch their dad sing and they are so enraptured. At the end, the team are unable to keep them still and they run out on stage. Logan panics, but his panic fades away when they all hug him and tell him how amazing he was. Seeing their sparkling eyes full of amazement and wonder melts Logan’s heart. It melts the crowds hearts as well." but then I had so much fun writing all the domestic fluff, it became more than just this idea.  
> I hope you liked the little lullaby song I wrote. I listened to a few lullaby songs to get inspiration, and I stumbled across one called "The Song of the Sea" and I was dying inside thinking of Logan singing it to Roman, Patton and Virgil.


End file.
